The Hill Street Blahg

A STUDY IN OBAMASPEAK

Image courtesy of No Feet Required

Have you ever been left scratching your head after listening to Comrade Obama blather on with his non-stop blah, blah, blah, quack, quack, quack? As a public service, Bob Maistros has compiled a much needed Glossary as an interpretation aid for the perplexed listener to figure out just what the Community Organizer-in-Chief really means when he speaks Obamanese.

The Peoples Cube has posted Mr. Maistos’ much needed glossary. I might add, some of the comments on this People Cube posting are worth the read, not to mention hilarious.

Choice – the opportunity to select big government.

Competition – we choose who wins.

Compromise – accepting my position after I give a big speech.

Fact (as in, “these are the facts” or “to state a fact”) – my opinion.

Honest debate – agreeing with me.

Incorporate (as in “incorporate ideas from Republicans”) – include in the early stages of a proposal and then have Pelosi and Reid drop like a hot potato behind closed doors in the final version.

Irresponsible (as in “irresponsible behavior”) – constitutionally protected.

Misinformation – facts, when presented by our opponents.

Neutrality (as in “net neutrality”) – favoring one side in a dispute, especially when that side has supported your campaign and provided a senior White House staff member.

Nobody (as in “nobody disputes [these facts]”) – no liberals or members of the mainstream media.

Non-profit (as in proposals to establish tax-favored, non-profit status for failing newspapers) – making official a condition that has existed unofficially for years.

Nothing (as in “nothing in this plan will require you or your employer to change the coverage or the doctor you have”) – everything.

Plan (as in, “the [health-care] plan I am announcing tonight”) – a really good speech.

Security (as in “stability and security” in health care or “true security for all Israelis”) – you’re toast.

Tax – certainly not the fine that goes along with the individual mandate. No matter what that little #&%@! Stephanopoulos or Webster’s say.

The People’s Cube has taken the liberty to add some additional Obamaspeak words to Mr. Maistos’ glossary which need clarification:

Some additional words and phrases that need explaining:

Bipartisan support – everyone doing what I want

Change – screw up totally

Crisis – enablement for something I wish to implement without opposition

Distraction – embarrassing major news story

False Choices – any options other than the one I want

Fairness – distribution of spoils to my supporters

I don’t think… (as in “I don’t think my opponents are racist”)
- My surrogates take the criticism for saying something I believe while I look conciliatory by appearing to deny it

Let me be clear – incoherent obfuscation coming up

Must Be (as in if the governments of Iran and North Korea choose to ignore international standards . . . then they must be held accountable.)
- won’t be

Multilateralism – I’m too weak to make any kind of decision so I’m waiting for someone else to take the lead

Old way of doing… (as in Wall Street understands it must shed “the old way of doing business”)
- Something that does not benefit me

Racist – anyone who does not agree with me

Smart diplomacy – dumb sh*t that anyone with half a brain would see as lunacy

Special Interests – any group not on my side; contrast with Pubilc Good which are the unions, ACORN and anybody else I feel like rewarding

Won’t (as in “I said I won’t sign a bill that adds to the deficit or the national debt.”)
- absolutely positively will